He’d be 26 today. I often think back to the day we met. I can still see him clearly - a leather jacket and a lit cigarette pressed between a James Dean smile.
He casually offered me a drag.
“I don’t smoke.”
The conversation that followed our initial meeting was either meant to charm me or bring me some level of discomfort. Whichever it was, I rolled with it.
This kid was special. He reminded me so much of my late brother. I saw something in him. A flicker in the eyes, a desire to be understood for the whole canvas, yet not feeling worthy. We connected easily, and he quickly became one of my favourites.
Notwithstanding his addiction, he was a beautiful soul - kind, funny, smart, and full of charisma. He wasn’t afraid to express his individuality with painted black nails and coffee shop serenades. He loved music and was a talented musician and songwriter in his own right. A Les Paul fan.
We’d often go to Starbucks for our sessions. He’d order a blonde roast and we’d chat about life and the future goals he wanted to accomplish. He had hope.
But then the monsters would come, pulling him under. The trajectory of overcoming addiction is rarely linear. At one point, he told me he loved heroin too much to stop. Resigning himself to a life of suffering, he said he was going to die this way.
“No, you’re not. This is not how you’re going out,” I said softly, holding vigil in that dimly lit room.
I cried the whole drive home.
Thankfully he got into a lengthy treatment program. We reunited at Starbucks to celebrate his 1 year of being substance-free. As we hugged goodbye, he thanked me for helping him on his journey. A full circle moment. I’m grateful to have been a small part of his story.
But he lost his fight 2.5 years ago. It’s not just that drugs have a strong pull. It’s that pain does. No matter how hard we try to beat it. I hope that he finally found peace and relief in the glorious Nirvana.
He died with his music still in him. But if I shut my eyes and listen closely, I can almost hear it: a young man clad in a leather jacket with a dimpled smile playing furiously and beautifully on a Les Paul guitar, belting out a tune into the infinite space.
Comentários