Every year at this time, my mental health is usually hanging by a frayed, loose thread as I churn out the yuletide magic for my kids. We're talking manipulating the body of a toy elf into precarious placements and subbing in different types of chocolate as various forms of elf poo (my fave is elfarrhea). I constantly lament doing the damn thing, but each year I go bigger. Even though it drains me, I actually love doing it. Story of my life.
Usually I reconfigure popular song lyrics to usher in the elf's long awaited return. Last year I did an impressive rewrite of "Without Me" by Eminem, but this year I did a simple poem and bought them an elf pup. I realize that I can have fun with it without exhausting myself. I simply can't stay up late anymore planning elaborate elf mischief. My body isn't liking late nights.
Aside from this elf business, I often go overboard with baking, crafting, wrapping, decorating, and public outings to overpriced Christmas themed events. I brave the malls, write the thoughtful family cards, and make the cutesy Christmas posts. By the end, I just want to sleep it off and wake up in January. This self-imposed pressure to dole out the magic of Christmas is a lot for someone who struggles with perfectionism and anxiety.
This year I'm being easier on myself. Now that school is done, I have less on my mind, and I can be fully present with the kids. I'm actually finding that they enjoy it more when we keep things simple. Who knew?
It’s easy to focus on the overwhelm and ick of the commodified parts of Christmas. We aren't religious, so it's more of a whimsical time meant to be shared with family, and that's what I'd prefer.
So here are the best things about this time of year, according to me:
Seeing the kids' faces when we pick out our fresh cut Christmas tree and spending the day doing that with them. It's also a joy to see how excited they are to drive around and look at Christmas lights, and how much fun they have when the first good dump of snow arrives (hopefully before Xmas) . Snowball fights, sledding, and snow forts all day. Opening new toys offers a brief high, but these memories last forever.
It brings out the best and worst in humanity. You see the abhorrent humans who are rude to customer service and hospitality industry folk, and the kind, patient souls who don't sweat the small stuff. Be the second person. And tip your server.
Dancing in the living room to unconventional Christmas music. A little less baby Jesus in a manger, a little more punk rock.
The sexy feeling of Christmas. There's something about the magic of this season that makes me want to jump my husband's bones, morning, noon and night.
Festive treats like egg nog, bailey's coffee, and peppermint bark.
Staying in PJs the whole day, 'cause why not?
Watching little kids sing Christmas songs. It's so bad that it's good.
Watching classic Christmas movies by the fire, a la Home Alone.
Cheese advent calendars. Constipation anyone?
Not feeling pressured to buy gifts for your significant other on Xmas because you both agreed to abstain, but then getting hot and bothered about a $40,0000 window replacement project for your house that's happening next month instead.
BRB, gotta go hide that fricken elf!
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