In lieu of going on a big trip this year, we snuck away for a kid-free trip to Whistler a couple weeks ago. If you weren't aware, Whistler is nauseatingly expensive and touristy for a local getaway, and not at all like Scotland as far as rugged and romantic landscapes go. But for a quick weekend retreat into 'nature', it'll do. I'm simply grateful we had the chance to reconnect with each other sans to-do lists, kids and pets. Pretty waterfalls and mountain views are always good for the soul.
It was a happy coincidence when we ran into a cherished old friend who happened to be there with his wife doing the same thing. After a lot of catching up and celebratory shots later, we parted ways with our friend and found ourselves at our planned destination, the Scandinave Spa, which is a tad bougie but also refreshingly minimalist and relaxing. Between dipping in and out of hot and cold pools and a fantastic massage, I immersed myself in a poignant book about dying and sat still listening to the sound of my breath amid the trees. Ultimate attunement. What a life.
Later on, we meandered through dive bars with sticky tables and obnoxiously loud music. We ate like gluttons. And with intimacy at the forefront, we made love a bashful amount over the span of two days. Needless to say, it was nice.
It hasn't always been this rosy, you know? After a relatively smooth sailing and passionate 14 years together, the last few have been incredibly tough on our marriage. We've been through the wringer. I've wanted to throw in the towel more times than I can count, even though I now fully recognize and appreciate that he's the only man who will ever understand and love me through all my character flaws, triggers, and traumas. I need so much alone time, and he doesn't. I need to be able to listen to and nurture my own inner voice, but with kids and a family to care for, that isn't always possible. I put my all into them without regard for myself, and I cracked. I've never claimed to be perfect, but pedestals eventually crumble and all you're left with is the ability to communicate your needs with love and tenderness. I haven't always been able to. But I'm doing it now, and so is he. This is fueled by a genuine desire to be on the same side, to create a love that's expansive, and to keep learning about each other and ourselves. It means work. Weekends like this are few and far between for us, and most of the real work happens in the middle of all the chaos and messy real life stuff. Still, it's nice to be able to pause and put all your energy into nurturing that connection in a focused way without distraction.
This mini vacation was a special one.
Maybe even the start of something new.
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