One of my dear friends is getting married, and last weekend we threw her a bachelorette party in Whistler. I’ve been to Whistler for plenty of party nights and stagettes in my twenties, but this was the first time doing it as a thirty-something pregnant mom of two.
Well, here’s what I learned:
It is actually still fun to be pregnant, sober and out on the town with a bunch of ladies on a stagette/bachelorette/hen night (or whatever you call it where you’re from).
Even if you have a visible baby bump, guys will still hit on you, offer to buy you shots, and tell you you’re “so beautiful and cool as fuck” just to try getting it in.
We are an ADHD generation and DJs know this. The constant remixes of terrible songs in clubs are both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, if any brain draining ditty after 2005 is playing and you want to skidaddle off the dance floor, you can be assured it will be over soon, but just as a real banger from the 90’s or early 2000s gets to the best part of the bridge, it will quickly be replaced by a horrifying pop bop.
It is possible to stay out til 1:30am dancing while being pregnant and sober.
Girls bathrooms at bars are foul. We are a filthy bunch when it comes to our toilet habits. I will leave it at that.
Men don’t wear enough deodorant in clubs. The B.O. was excruciating. I already have a wicked sense of smell, but pregnancy and dancing in a hot, crowded and poorly ventilated club intensified the fetid odours.
Girls are still well versed at knowing how to keep a tight circle on the dance floor. And we continue to use elbows, icy stares, and drunken yells to enforce it.
It takes a minimum of two days to recover from the late night and sore feet alone. Thank God alcohol wasn’t involved (in my case).
Whistler brunches are insanely overpriced. $58 after tip for an iced caramel latte, half a waffle with some blueberries and blackberries, and a side of potatoes. Might need to get on OnlyFans after all. Guys do find preggos hot, so I’ve learned!
All in all, I had an awesome time. But if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to put on a playlist of soothing folk music and take a nap.
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