One of the things I enjoy most about motherhood is witnessing my children in the beginning stages of something. Learning and growing alongside them. I've always believed that one of the most important jobs of being a parent (and there are many) is being able to encourage your child to embrace their beginner's mind.
This doesn't come naturally for me in my own life. I find it easier to do with my kids. I'm a recovering perfectionist, and I don't like to fail. In fact, if I don't think I'm going to be stellar at something, I'll typically just avoid doing it. But motherhood shakes this all up. As a mom, I'll try anything once. I'll even risk being the worst at something - to the point of totally embarrassing myself - if it gets my kids to try too.
There's nothing like parenthood as the ultimate teacher of humility and the beauty of just becoming. When you first have kids, you have this idea that your child is going to be the most amazing, talented being who ever set foot on this Earth. But we forget that development doesn't work like that. We forget that they're experiential learners, quite literally new to the world. A child's entire job is to learn through making mistakes. There are a flurry of beautiful moments in raising children where you see these fledgling humans quite literally stumble and fall. Times where they're not hitting developmental milestones 'on time', and you want to go in and save them. You worry. You pathologize. You compare. But all of that takes away the joy. There's something so exciting about witnessing them overcome challenges and test waters and figure out what does and doesn't work for them. To unravel the mystery before the mastery.
My son just started baseball. He hates it. He's cut from the same cloth as me, and would rather not do something he's not immediately the best at. He's so used to being instantly good at almost everything, that I think he probably just assumed this would come naturally. Spoiler alert: It hasn't.
I pains me when he feels embarrassed or not good enough because he's new at something. If I'm being honest, it's uncomfortable for me too. Not because he's not good at it, but because he's not enjoying it yet. But rather than letting him quit before he's really given it a chance, the only thing I can do is let him know that 'practice makes better' and remind him that everything he's ever picked up, he's learned through first giving it a try. To remind him that he needs to adopt a beginner's mindset before he can master anything. I don't need him to be the best. I don't need him to keep playing. But I want him to show up and take the time to learn.
Avoiding discomfort by closing yourself off from experiences that yield the possibility of mistakes or failure is the antithesis of growth. I forget that sometimes. I stay safe. But truthfully, it's just as important for me to remember this as it is for me to teach my kids.
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